I got a paper cut and Obama is to blame

by Jay McDonough

Some things are almost too stupid to be true.

Here's Rush Limbaugh the other day explaining South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's disappearance and affair:

...So he ups and leaves for five days, doesn't leave anybody in charge of the state, in case there's an emergency.

This is almost like: I don't give a damn! Country's going to hell in a handbasket. I just want out of here!

He had just tried to fight the stimulus money coming to South Carolina. He didn't want any part of it. He lost the battle and said "What the hell? The Federal government is taking over! I want to enjoy life!"

Not quite stupid enough?  OK, then...how's this?

Michael Jackson's biggest successes, and as it turns out his final successes, real successes took place in the eighties. That was Billie Jean, Thriller and all this. I mean he was as weird as he could be but he was profoundly, because of his weirdness, an individual. He wasn't a group member. He reached a level of success that may never be equaled. He flourished under Reagan; he languished under Clinton-Bush; and died under Obama. Let's hope the parallel does not continue.

Got that?  Mark Sanford's and Michael Jackson's stories have nothing to do with bad judgment and bad choices.  It's actually the federal government and Barack Obama that forced the governor to disappear for five days, leaving his state in the lurch while he was off in Argentina with his mistress.  And it's the suffocating power of the state that caused Michael Jackson's declining popularity and death, not the multiple botched plastic surgeries, persistent rumors of improper behavior, freakish lifestyle, and reported drug abuse that doomed Jackson.

For a group that claims personal responsibility as a mantra, these conservatives sure are quick to blame someone, anyone, else for all their troubles.